[Guest]

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

 

Dragon Boat Canada


IDBF


Canoe Kayak Canada

193 Guests, 0 Users

[Sun]

I'm sure we've all experienced this. If your gf/bf does not paddle, do you have to sacrifice dragonboating for that person? It's hard for non paddlers to understand the commitment by dragonboaters right? Would you rather spend a whole day with your teammates at a regatta or a day with your gf/bf? (i don't think i'll get honest answers, because people might get in trouble)

I'm sure more than one argument or break up has been caused by our obsession. My friends and i joke that dragonboating is a cult, once you're in, you're in for life!  

[Sterling]

cant say that i've experienced this since im on the same team as my gf, but what happened to making time? or even better yet, get her to join too?

but to answer your question, honestly, i dont think i would sacrifice a regatta for a day with my gf. i mean you train so hard for these things, and at the end, your bf/gf should understand...and perhaps you could schedule another day for your gf/bf. its all about comprimise. if she on the other hand, has other commitments that she has to attend to consistently, it might be a bummer not to be able to see her as often as you'd like but everyone needs their space and you just have to respect that.

[turtle_turtle]

 sorry, this topic cracks me up. not trying to make fun of your idea though! it's interesting you brought it up.

paddling only probably takes up 2 hours a day, and teams usually practice 1 - 4 times a week. I really don't see why it would affect a relationship. and if your bf/gf is making a big deal out of this, do you really want them to be your bf/gf? as long as you're trying to make time with them, they should be able to appreciate your intentions, especially your intention to want to spend time with them. at least, my gf does.  

[Photog]

at least, my gf does.  

i always thought you were a girl.  

anyways, to answer your question on how this could possible conflict, well, my gf is a hardcore christian. that means church every sunday.
guess when my team practices and guess who gets mad when a certain guy with a camera bails on church.
uh huh.

[turtle_turtle]

i always thought you were a girl.  

Who said I wasn't?  

[rightarm]

turtle, sure 2 hours per practice (plus shower time afterwards to get rid of the creek stench, so lets say 3 hours) * 2-3 practices per week... you're right that's not much, only 6-9 hours per week, but then if you work full time & have a long commute, maybe a few other activities on the go, then yes I think it could be understandable that a significant other might get kind of upset by all the time spent at dboat, especially on a festival weekend.  
I think it's probably a lot less to do with dboat specifically and more to do with the idea of "you do all these other things that you have to do, but dboat is in your free time, why don't you spend that time with me?"

My g/f is generally pretty good about it, but sometimes she gets kinda choked when i want to go get in extra time on the water or do something with the team.

[p00py p00py]

well i've been through this...but here's a tough one...

victoria festival lands on the same weekend as your significant others birthday...which choice would you do??  

this is something i went through last year....    

[Colossus]

well i've been through this...but here's a tough one...

victoria festival lands on the same weekend as your significant others birthday...which choice would you do??  

this is something i went through last year....    

you bring them with you, treat them (and yourself) to staying at the Empress Hotel while attending the festival, and when you're not paddling/warming up, you're spending time with them.  

ideally, the significant other and your team have met and get along reasonably well, and she doesnt' mind hanging out with you and your team from morning until your last race, and then possibly the beer garden afterwards.  but definately spend the evening wining and dining him/her.

[Lush]

I have to agree w/ mofo and colossus.  

Paddling does take up a lot of time (especially when you factor in time for the commute and the ritual cleansing afterwards). With practices being 2-3 times a week, and the additional oc-1 and marathon trips that some people do, that really only leaves the weekend for couples to see each other.  

i'm sure most woman/men understand their partner's committment to dragonboat, but dang it.. it's frustrating sometimes (especially when they want to paddle during the 2 week break after alcan!).  


But, because the ol'b/f and I both paddle, we see each other at festivals... so i guess that kinda makes up for the time we don't see each other during the rest of the year. actually, it doesn't. but hopefully, by writing it out, i'll believe what i just wrote.  


However, that wine and dine part? I like.  Post that part up using font size 20 or something. I think the b/f needs a little reminder.  


my 2 cents.

[p00py p00py]

well i ditched the festival for her birthday weekend, which i don't regret (even though i kept on getting text messages from people on how well they were doing, which didn't help....)....

however, here's a little spin on things....do you paddle on the same team with ure significant other?

since i know lush doesn't, but has for some festivals, is there a reason why some people don't for the full year?

[Colossus]

is there a reason why some people don't for the full year?

to have a chance to check out the ladies on other teams without being caught/getting in trouble.

[gunghaggis]

If he/she is a truly supportive bf/gf - then they will encourage you to go paddle.  If they complain... go find another bf/gf!  Don't limit yourself, by the expectations of others.  Define your own expectations and what YOU DESERVE in a relationship.  Otherwise... you sell yourself short in both the paddling experience and the relationship experience.  On the same note... if you are truly a worthy bf/gf - then you will make their birthday weekend a memorable one (I celebrate birthday week!)

There are many teams where all the significant others come out as the support team.  This is very important, because they help manage the team, provide food, moral support etc.  Wasabi does this very well, as do some of partners of the Breast Cancer teams.

Then there are the mature teams where the teams get older and all the paddler couples have babies...  then the significant others spare each other out while looking after the baby... but that's another thread.

I went through many years of girlfriends and dates who did not understand my obsession with paddling.  Now, I'm finally lucky... when we started dating, my girlfriend joined my dragon boat team because she both wanted to get to know me better, as well as develop her fitness level.  Now 26 months later, after 2 years of paddling ADBF with her, and many out-of-town races without her, she is the team drummer.  No question about it... she enjoys telling me what to do now!

The trick is to find a relationship that works, and is flexible enough to include paddling - rather than to find a paddler and try to develop a relationship.  Relationships need more than just a common interest in paddling (Been there done that!).  Paddling is a very physical activity, rather than emotional - which relationships are based upon.  Sometimes dating a paddler never progresses beyond the physical... but that is another thread too!  

[cupcake]

After paddling for a few years, paddling has become my life. My ex got me into DB and I thank him for that.

I believe that if he or she is really into something, whether it be DB or any other sport, the people involved need to give and take, not bitch or complain of the time spent in such hobbies.

As mature adults we all know that with work and having a life you sacarfices things, if my future BF choose to use time on his hobbies over me it would be fine, because I can almost be certain that he one day will need to do the same for when I get a lil more hardcore with the DB'ing. At the same time knowing the DB takes up so much of my time, I wouldn't want to date anyone that doesn't.

[Sun]

wow i didnt know this would get such a response, obviously this is something commonly experienced amongst us paddlers! but just to clear things up, my gf at the moment is ok with me paddling. (ahem, just covering my ass just in case she reads this one day, hehe) but i've seen teammates fall off the face of the dragonboat world because of the gf/bf. one guy can't go to practice on tuesdays because that night is reserved for his gf. lol

poopy i really hope your gf made you feel like a champion last year for missing the regatta! *wink wink*

but yeah, it does take up a lot of time, especially if you factor in the commute and post practice team meals. it's so hard to say no to your teammates to go out after practice or a regatta!

[Rae]

Sorry, but I'm gonna throw in something else. What if you're married and/or have kids (not saying that I am)? Let's say you live relatively far and have to commute 45min to and from the creek. We add it all together, the 2 hour practice, the 1.5 hour commute, warmup time, and the mandatory showering...that's about 4 hours plus. 2 times a week is about 8-9 hours taken up. Of course, that will be time taken away from family or the time spent with the kids. I can see why it can be a problem but hey, if you're good with time management and it works, congrats to you.