(BigTallTree/moderator: I wasn't sure which forum to put this in, and I realize I already posted this as a reply in another thread, but I hope to get this message out and would truly appreciate it if it wasn't deleted. Thanks!)
Paddle for Kids: when the team opted to participate we actually thought there would be races going on... turned out to be a stupid sports day for adults... what a ****ing waste of ****ing time and money... $400 of our hard-earned fundraised money going to a good cause... I left early cuz I actually wanted to get some yard work done... it was THAT bad. Oh well, now that we know better we'll probably go for Richmond Rip up the River?
edited for content - BigTallTree
wow... thanks for the feedback, everyone! Anyone who knows me knows I have a habit of not thinking before I speak, but that's definitely NO excuse here.
I should clear a couple of things up, and just to let you know, I'm NOT trying to redeem myself:
-It should be corrected that it was probably only ME, MYSELF, and I (not my team) who believed that Paddle For Kids would be an opportunity for regular race pieces, with the registration proceeds going towards BC Children's Hospital... yes, I did vote to participate in it, without fully knowing what it would be like... yes, that was stupid of me.
-I awoke Sept.12 with the vivid memory of something traumatic that had happened exactly one year prior. If it wasn't for this and everything else currently going on in my life, I probably would have been able to relax and enjoy the event for what it was... yes, that was selfish of me. That day I should have been thinking of the kids fighting for a chance to experience life... I should have put the past and my own worries behind me.
I know the following apologies will never undo the damage I've done, and their recipients are not obligated to accept them. But they're about all I can do now.
I apologize to all the patients at BC Children's Hospital for my selfishness. I should have reminded myself that all my problems are really blessings, for they are life experiences that many in the hospital would gladly trade for. I'm having trouble putting this guilt I'm feeling into words... I feel right now that if I had the power to trade places with any one of you, I'd do it in a heartbeat. My apologies also to all the parents, relatives and friends of the patients, as well as the staff at BC Children's Hospital, for trivializing the children's problems, as well as yours, so carelessly.
I apologize to all the organizers and volunteers of the Paddle For Kids event. It was not my intention to attack this event... what I said was a foolish rant fueled by the frustration that I wasn't able to relax and truly enjoy the event that day. The activities were the things I'd normally like to participate in (when I'm not in such a depressed state of mind) and the race format (yes, I raced the first one) was entertaining. I truly appreciate all the hard work you all put into organizing this event, and I regret not staying around and allowing myself to enjoy it. What I regret even more is lashing out at Paddle For Kids when my frustrations really came from anywhere but the event.
I apologize to the moderators, members and visitors to this forum that I have offended, and those I didn't. My remarks were immature and short-sighted, to say the least, and undeserving to be displayed on a message board meant for the healthy and intelligent discussion of our sport. My language and attitude were inappropriate, and I assure you it will not happen again. Guido, zephyrantes, meowzers, paddleboy, nakano, Rae, pbs, cole, StraightLine, estrella and BigTallTree: I sincerely thank you for ALL of your comments, whether hurtful or dismissive... without your comments I probably would have remained ignorant of the carelessness of my words. Thank you for removing my blinders.
I apologize to the entire Dragonboating community for my disgraceful attitude, not just in my comment, but also on the day of the event. My desire to vent frustration through competition might have potentially scared off some beginners that could have ended up contributing so much to our sport. I agree with Guido, that it would probably make everyone happy if I absolved from using a paddle for the rest of my life. But the problem is... I love this sport too much. I became infatuated as a child watching Vancouver's first races in 1986, and I fell in love 10 years later when I financed my own junior team and picked up a paddle for the first time. Unfortunately politics and competition have taken over and jaded me in recent years, but each year I somehow manage to capture a hint of what attracted me to this sport in the first place, and with that happy watering of my eyes, I vow to come back and enjoy it all over again.
I apologize to all of my teammates on Team United. It was evident to most of you that something wasn't right in me this year. My behaviour, comments and actions weren't always constructive. And now, I've let that demon out beyond the boat. I'm embarrassed to have brought my own shame to our team. I know this team stands for so much, and strives to give back to the sport and the larger community... and I apologize for tarnishing that reputation. I'll do my best to polish it out.
Finally, I apologize to anyone else that I have neglected to mention who has been affected by my comments.
