Dragon Boat West

I'm sure we've all experienced this. If your gf/bf does not paddle, do you have to sacrifice dragonboating for that person? It's hard for non paddlers to understand the commitment by dragonboaters right? Would you rather spend a whole day with your teammates at a regatta or a day with your gf/bf? (i don't think i'll get honest answers, because people might get in trouble)

I'm sure more than one argument or break up has been caused by our obsession. My friends and i joke that dragonboating is a cult, once you're in, you're in for life!  :twisted:

cant say that i've experienced this since im on the same team as my gf, but what happened to making time? or even better yet, get her to join too?

but to answer your question, honestly, i dont think i would sacrifice a regatta for a day with my gf. i mean you train so hard for these things, and at the end, your bf/gf should understand...and perhaps you could schedule another day for your gf/bf. its all about comprimise. if she on the other hand, has other commitments that she has to attend to consistently, it might be a bummer not to be able to see her as often as you'd like but everyone needs their space and you just have to respect that.

:lol:  sorry, this topic cracks me up. not trying to make fun of your idea though! it's interesting you brought it up.

paddling only probably takes up 2 hours a day, and teams usually practice 1 - 4 times a week. I really don't see why it would affect a relationship. and if your bf/gf is making a big deal out of this, do you really want them to be your bf/gf? as long as you're trying to make time with them, they should be able to appreciate your intentions, especially your intention to want to spend time with them. at least, my gf does.  :wink:

i always thought you were a girl.  :oops:

anyways, to answer your question on how this could possible conflict, well, my gf is a hardcore christian. that means church every sunday.
guess when my team practices and guess who gets mad when a certain guy with a camera bails on church. :lol:
uh huh.

Who said I wasn't?  :angel:

turtle, sure 2 hours per practice (plus shower time afterwards to get rid of the creek stench, so lets say 3 hours) * 2-3 practices per week... you're right that's not much, only 6-9 hours per week, but then if you work full time & have a long commute, maybe a few other activities on the go, then yes I think it could be understandable that a significant other might get kind of upset by all the time spent at dboat, especially on a festival weekend.  
I think it's probably a lot less to do with dboat specifically and more to do with the idea of "you do all these other things that you have to do, but dboat is in your free time, why don't you spend that time with me?"

My g/f is generally pretty good about it, but sometimes she gets kinda choked when i want to go get in extra time on the water or do something with the team.

well i've been through this...but here's a tough one...

victoria festival lands on the same weekend as your significant others birthday...which choice would you do??  

this is something i went through last year.... :wink:  :wink:  :wink:

you bring them with you, treat them (and yourself) to staying at the Empress Hotel while attending the festival, and when you're not paddling/warming up, you're spending time with them.  

ideally, the significant other and your team have met and get along reasonably well, and she doesnt' mind hanging out with you and your team from morning until your last race, and then possibly the beer garden afterwards.  but definately spend the evening wining and dining him/her. ;)

I have to agree w/ mofo and colossus.  

Paddling does take up a lot of time (especially when you factor in time for the commute and the ritual cleansing afterwards). With practices being 2-3 times a week, and the additional oc-1 and marathon trips that some people do, that really only leaves the weekend for couples to see each other.  

i'm sure most woman/men understand their partner's committment to dragonboat, but dang it.. it's frustrating sometimes (especially when they want to paddle during the 2 week break after alcan!).  


But, because the ol'b/f and I both paddle, we see each other at festivals... so i guess that kinda makes up for the time we don't see each other during the rest of the year. actually, it doesn't. but hopefully, by writing it out, i'll believe what i just wrote.  


However, that wine and dine part? I like.  Post that part up using font size 20 or something. I think the b/f needs a little reminder.  


my 2 cents.

well i ditched the festival for her birthday weekend, which i don't regret (even though i kept on getting text messages from people on how well they were doing, which didn't help....)....

however, here's a little spin on things....do you paddle on the same team with ure significant other?

since i know lush doesn't, but has for some festivals, is there a reason why some people don't for the full year?

to have a chance to check out the ladies on other teams without being caught/getting in trouble. :lol:

If he/she is a truly supportive bf/gf - then they will encourage you to go paddle.  If they complain... go find another bf/gf!  Don't limit yourself, by the expectations of others.  Define your own expectations and what YOU DESERVE in a relationship.  Otherwise... you sell yourself short in both the paddling experience and the relationship experience.  On the same note... if you are truly a worthy bf/gf - then you will make their birthday weekend a memorable one (I celebrate birthday week!)

There are many teams where all the significant others come out as the support team.  This is very important, because they help manage the team, provide food, moral support etc.  Wasabi does this very well, as do some of partners of the Breast Cancer teams.

Then there are the mature teams where the teams get older and all the paddler couples have babies...  then the significant others spare each other out while looking after the baby... but that's another thread.

I went through many years of girlfriends and dates who did not understand my obsession with paddling.  Now, I'm finally lucky... when we started dating, my girlfriend joined my dragon boat team because she both wanted to get to know me better, as well as develop her fitness level.  Now 26 months later, after 2 years of paddling ADBF with her, and many out-of-town races without her, she is the team drummer.  No question about it... she enjoys telling me what to do now! :lol:

The trick is to find a relationship that works, and is flexible enough to include paddling - rather than to find a paddler and try to develop a relationship.  Relationships need more than just a common interest in paddling (Been there done that!).  Paddling is a very physical activity, rather than emotional - which relationships are based upon.  Sometimes dating a paddler never progresses beyond the physical... but that is another thread too!  :wink:

After paddling for a few years, paddling has become my life. My ex got me into DB and I thank him for that.

I believe that if he or she is really into something, whether it be DB or any other sport, the people involved need to give and take, not bitch or complain of the time spent in such hobbies.

As mature adults we all know that with work and having a life you sacarfices things, if my future BF choose to use time on his hobbies over me it would be fine, because I can almost be certain that he one day will need to do the same for when I get a lil more hardcore with the DB'ing. At the same time knowing the DB takes up so much of my time, I wouldn't want to date anyone that doesn't.

wow i didnt know this would get such a response, obviously this is something commonly experienced amongst us paddlers! but just to clear things up, my gf at the moment is ok with me paddling. (ahem, just covering my ass just in case she reads this one day, hehe) but i've seen teammates fall off the face of the dragonboat world because of the gf/bf. one guy can't go to practice on tuesdays because that night is reserved for his gf. lol

poopy i really hope your gf made you feel like a champion last year for missing the regatta! *wink wink*

but yeah, it does take up a lot of time, especially if you factor in the commute and post practice team meals. it's so hard to say no to your teammates to go out after practice or a regatta!

Sorry, but I'm gonna throw in something else. What if you're married and/or have kids (not saying that I am)? Let's say you live relatively far and have to commute 45min to and from the creek. We add it all together, the 2 hour practice, the 1.5 hour commute, warmup time, and the mandatory showering...that's about 4 hours plus. 2 times a week is about 8-9 hours taken up. Of course, that will be time taken away from family or the time spent with the kids. I can see why it can be a problem but hey, if you're good with time management and it works, congrats to you.

this is why they should be involved in your activities and you should be involved in yours.  not saying to make them join DB or you join whatever they do or have them arouind 24/7, but be there for support, them/you get to know - if only on a superficial level - the group around said activity...  its all about the give and take and understanding.

generally speaking, with these healthy relationships there are activities you share with your significant other, and then there are others which are entirely just for you, no?

assuming your db is something you do just for yourself, 2x/week (or even 3) is more than manageable.  You guys are talking about cramming in quality time on days you're at practice.  There are other days of the week too.

I work 40-50 hours a week usually, and I paddle twice a week. She works full time too, but somehow we still manage to squeak in a few hours with each other (if not the entire night, *ahem*)  3 - 4 days a week. hehehe, I guess it just depends on the person. As for festival weekends, we can't help that. All we can ever do is look at the dates for the festivals and hope it doesn't clash with stuff like birthdays and anniversaries!

As corny as this sounds, If you're inlove, you'll find a way.  :wink:
Also, neither me nor my g/f want to see each other every friggin' day, or else we'll get tired of each other.  :lol:

i guess that rules out marriage? ;)


god i hope so...   gone out with one too many overly-clingy girls.  just saying though, when a couple has limited time together, they will/should find ways to spend the available time together, and thats where the coming along for support and such comes into play.  plus, who better to help you wash all that false creek crap off you than a significant other? 8)

I've got goosebumps!   :wink:

One sure way of preventing kids......and if you paddle in the creek long enough you won't be able have any either (if you do they will be very interesting lifeforms...) eewwww

Well I met my wife through dragonboating. And I was in my 11th year of hanging out in the False Creek waters. She I believe was in her 3rd or 4th year of being out on the water and we have a kid now. Good news is she has 2 hands, 2 feet, all 10 fingers and toes on each hand and foot, and a lovely smile. So I guess we bucked the evil bad germs and produced a lovely daughter! And yes the after practice showers were awesome except now with a kid in the house you can't take them together!  :twisted:  But its all good you know?

i dont' know about anyone else, but i have a total of 20 fingers and toes....  :?

freak! :twisted:

that i am...   8)

Well, I think it is all about time management...

My team practices 4 days a week and I make it to 3 of them.  

I have a significant other, an 8 year old son, I am a full-time 3rd year university student, and I have a part time job.

So far, I have managed it just well.  Usually when I am practicing, someone in the family brings my son to the docks to watch.  
At the festivals, I think that it is all about your dragonboat team, as well as your family.
My significant other and son try to come out to all the festivals as support for my team

:)

im new here and this is my frist post, but this topic hits close to home. I can understand the argument of dboating taking up no more than 10ish hrs/week. i dont think 10 hrs/week is a big deal. and i dont think thats what causes the probs.

First, the girlie doesnt like the fact that leave at the butt crack of dawn both sat and sunday. i wake up extra early and stick around so she doesnt feel so bad.

next, im a coach, so it's hard to miss practice even if its just on occassion. also, our coaches help other teams, so on top of my team duties, I'm sticking around for another hr + clean up/stretch out. cant do much about this

I'm also on the governing board on our team. So it always seems like im taking care of some dboat business, making calls, ordering stuff, writing emails, organizing this or that.  

Lastly, meetings. im at about two 3 hr meetings per 3 weeks (peak season) it's difficult.

plus i work about 40-50 hrs a week. factor in dist traveled to see the girlie, the work out and wretched fact that i have to sleep (trust me, i wouldnt if i didnt have to). we settle on an unsatisfied girlie. if she were on the team, things would be easier, but only bc she would only understand, the time still wouldnt be there.

we're not doing too well.... :(

move in together.

hey welcome!

you have the answer right there, bring her out to paddle and maybe she will like it and understand the passion that you have to devote so much of your time to this sport.

oh yeah, forgot to mention, i took her out once. she didnt like it... back to the drawing board

Aww... dboat village elder, sorry to hear things aren't going well for ya and your girlie. Weigh the pros and cons of the relationship, perhaps? There doesn't seem to be anything that you can do to satisfy her, aside from quit dboat altogether. I hope it NEVER comes to that!!   :shock: I don't know about you, but for me, being in dboat for this long, it's in my blood!

i wouldn't go out with someone who didn't understand my three material passions: sports, cars, shopping.  the shopping bit is easy.  its the sports and cars that are hard to cover.

hm.. breaking up just b/c of d-boat? that's too frivolous and severe.  haven't you folks heard of "taking the good w/ the bad?" I"m sure the real issue is time management and not dragonboating.


i forgot who, but someone mentioned that if the g/f or b/f paddled as well that they would understand the need for the extra time commitment? I agree 100% . they would understand (i know for a fact). HOWEVER, that doesn't necessarily mean that he/she has to like the idea of having less time w/ the g/f or b/f.  

i know that i hate being "scheduled" into my b/f's life.  whatever happened to spontaneity???? what if i wanted to see him on a monday nite instead of sat nite? anyways, my remedy? keep yourself busy.  take up pilates, yoga, wine classes, volleyball, WHATEVER. anything to distract yourself.. well... almost anything  :twisted:

dboat village elder - sounds rough, but i know you can get through it (you always do!).  bring the gf out and i'll talk to her  ;)   my only advise - don't give up what you love (whatever/whichever that may be).  

how's that for cryptic?

see you at practice in a few hours.

... or maybe not.

Umm. I don't know if the discussion of this topic is finished.. but I'll throw in my personal opinion.

I've had a girlfriend for two year and a half. She's in Japan the whole time. It really gets frustrating when she thinks it takes too much time of me from her because I paddle.

First of all, whenever I paddle, she's sleeping (time zone difference). Second of all, I don't think how paddling affects her at all besides the fact that I slept early before festivals. Obviously, that whole no touchy/sex thing before festivals didn't bother us either cos she's not even around !

There are numerous times where she doesn't understand why I'm so into this and insulted me in many ways. :( There are so many fights between us just because I have to paddle. And there are times that she purposely wake me up at 3am (especially before a festival) just to p*** me off.

So yeah, I think it's really hard if the other half doesn't understand or like dragonboating... or in my case.. respect me for what I do as a hobby.

So yeah, we broke up.:?  And I don't think i'll date a non paddler again.

I find new interest in girls with sugoi outfit. And I'll pick that over TNA hoochie outfit anytime.  :P

Sousou, sounds like you and your girlfriend from across seas didn't share enough in common. Perhaps she wasn't a very athletic person? I'm only guessing here.

Athletes usually go well with other athletes. I've dated girly girls before, and they're not for me, but have found happiness with athletic girls.  8)



I'll drink to that!!  :Cheers:

right on! she's not athletic at all.

And cheers to sugoi girls !

nothing wrong with a TNA hoochie outfit every now and then.  :lol: 8)

i actually know a few athletes who wear TNA, and YUMMY!  (http://i.xanga.com/thai_eggs/51.gif) (http://i.xanga.com/thai_eggs/67.gif)