Dragon Boat West

I'm pretty sure a large number of us are probably sitting at our desks getting anxious about the upcoming races.  So I thought I'd add some humour (I'll have to apologize now since my sense of humor can be viewed as mean at times.) to make the day go by faster. Please feel free to add to the list.

... Roli II beats Roli I... again
... Alpha drops their rate to 64 strokes per minute
... Team United finally beats a bunch of kids
... A certain paddler is wearing new shorts instead of those inappropriate shorts (ie crotchless ones) for the 15th year in a row
... VO2Max makes it into the Comp A final
... Team Storm gets into a final and actually doesn’t come last
... nobody breaks a carbon fibre paddle
... Pacific Reach finally gets a medal at Alcan
... Subaru Legacy finishes a race in their proper lane.
... FCRCC Mixed wins the Rec E division
... Swordfish hits a dog
... during one of their waterfights, Synergy swamps a Gemini and puts it to the bottom of the Creek.
... the winner of the Guts & Glory has a reflective vest
... Greg Lamb is relaxed and mellow

- Finish Line uses a Kodak Instamatic Camera for Photo Finishes.
 - Alcan announces it's made money this year and has booked Michael Jackson for it's Saturday Night act next year

Finish line uses local artists to render their impressions of the finishes
The Announcer understands that the teams on the water are not rowers
They announce a local Polka Band as the Saturday night entertainment
Dragon dollars are worth more than the Cdn dollar
Subaru does NOT hit a dog but gets bumped by a water taxi
Beer tent is located with in 100 meters of finish line
Some FCRCC paddlers wear shirts....
The "Spandex is a privilge and  not a Right" act is passed and enforced
Leah has too many Alcan volunteers
They bring back Barney the Purple 6-16 for the Comp Finals against the Geminis

And so on and so on!

-  a tourist  boat enters the creek and decides to drop anchor in the middle of the course just as your race is about to start and it's pouring rain and they don't speak english  :shock:

- you flamed your former team here on DBW and you end up in the semi together and they decide to lay a can of whoop-ass upon you and send you to rec E when you should have been Comp A  :shifty:  

- a mud wrestling pit is formed in the team tent area and it's the same big asain looking guy in the middle of it all again  :doh:

- Guido and paddleboy agree on something  :wink:

- You happen to be dating other paddlers from different teams and they don't know about it and you all end up at the paddlers party together  :roll:

 - In the middle of the race you realize theres a guy in a squatter row boat passing you

- a water taxi gives you the right of way

- at the end of a race you look forward and realize the other teams drummer is missing and then realize that bump was not a log

 - you followed the "OH MY" girls around and scooped the motherload of freebies and then realize your going home to yourself

- you arrive to race in the Guts & Glory only to find FCRCC has installed a battering ram on the front of their boat

- your a Subaru paddler and as you pull up to the start you see a guy on the shore giving final instructions to his dog in a seal outfit

- Bernman finally figures out a way to be a part of every single race

-teammates get so tanked at the festival that they can't remember if they got lucky with the steers person (who's passed out beside them)

-managed to pick up 18 shick razors (reg and pink) even though I only need to shave once a month

-the oral supplement you coach has been selling you is actually mislabelled Mexican hemmorroid cream

- You get wasted at the beer tent and wake up with the Canadian Construction Women's Team Logo Tattoed on your a$$
- You think the women are admiring your physique as you walk around until some points out you have toilet paper hanging out of your shorts.
- You are flaming some team on the water with a spectator and it is the girlfiend of one of the Kai paddlers....

- out of town teams marvel at how they were able to get tans under cloudy conditions
- the Comp A winner is from Vancouver

1.  The races start at the posted times.
2.  The races end at the posted times.
3.  It is discovered that the Subaru dog is really Canada's replacement for the subs they bought.
4.  Kelowna's Italian Stallion proves it to the Kai's "Rock" and brings him to tears.
5.  Paddleboy and Guido turn out to be the same person
6.  Alcan announces they are going to reduce entrance fees next year
7.  The Subaru dog receives the Alcan Community Cup for showing the spirit to perserve though any obstacle and to never back down.
8.  The Subaru dog makes it on Global TV describing their harrowing show down with Legacy in the Comp A final (the dog wins of course).
9.  Rec E teams pull faster times than Comp A due to the alignment of the stars, moon, tsunamis, wind, and rain.

And the most likely reason this will be a different festival is

10.  David Lettermen has the Subaru dog on his show on Monday night!!!

Okay I like the dog angle the most

- racers complain about the aquabus' crossing the course, only to realize the passengers are racers taking it from their racers tents by gm place to the docks.

:rofl:  :clap:  :rofl:
PBS you have the winner!!!  Paddleboy ain't to bad either  :D

I got a kick out of PDBF's #5 myself  :lol:

Excuse me... pbf

Ok. I haven't been to this site in 24 hours and then I see my name plastered by a good buddy of mine who I thought knew where I stand on certain things about DB racing! Ok I know it was all in good fun. But am I really all over the place Paddlebuddyboy? There really isn't anything more that I can put in here because I can relate with pretty well all that has been said so far.

GOOD LUCK TO ALL THIS WEEKEND! And BTW I know both Guido and Paddleboy and trust me they ain't the same dudes! In fact they are on opposite sides of the scale!

1: synergy takes rec A to E and the junior division
2: a swarm of orange shirts everywhere u go
3: all synergy teams end up in a race against each other